I got lost on my bike today, and ended up doing a fantastically long ride by accident. So instead of writing anything useful I thought I’d share this advert with you…
It’s some sort of Russian translation device that allows Father Christmas to end up knocking boots and bumping uglies with people. Obviously, Father Christmas doesn’t need to translate “до бит” or “Могу ли я на вершине?” when in the bedroom. Also of note is the way it puts our puny iPhones to shame with its ability to instantly translate seductive murmurings. Perhaps it has a special “smooth talking” mode to help with chatting up people, although it would be terribly embarrassing if it got stuck in that mode when you are trying to hold a business meeting (“Darling, after the merger I’m going to make half your staff redundant. Because you’re so sexy!”).
If you are interested in this device, try giving those UK numbers a call. I have no connection to the object, and I wish all the best to those flogging it.
