Toon Kawfee
by Pete Hindle
Newcastle blogger Alex Bettylou wrote this review of her favourite coffee shop, after I asked her to do something along those lines. I was a little surprised at her choice of venue, but like my girlfriend says, I’m a snobby snob snob snob, so I’ve got some exacting opinions about coffee shops.
- It shall serve bastard hot coffee that could double as rocket fuel
- It shall have comfy seats
- It must be playing background music or radio 4. Certainly not popular music from Radio 1, or Century.
- It shall have a range of fancy cakes. And sandwiches.
- If it has wifi, it should be free.
So, with those five rules, where do I give the ‘snobby snob snob snob’ seal of approval?
First prize has to go to the cafe at the end of Saville Row. It’s run by a french guy, the coffee is super-strong, and the cakes are amazing tartlets and other things. Sadly, the sandwiches are lacking, but the coffee makes up for it. Do have: the latte. Avoid: the cheaper baguettes. Never had the cooked food there, so
A second seal of approval goes to the new coffee shop round the back of Grainger market. It’s really new, and has a large deli counter, but has the advantage of great coffee and amazing sandwiches. Also great for people-watching, as the hoi polloi emerging from the Black Garter and other pubs in that area are just… staggering. Literally.
Moving out of the town centre, and into Heaton/Byker, there are a trio of coffee shops worth mentioning. And I can actually remember their name, which is unusual for me (see above). Heaton Perk, on Heaton Park road, actually has good, dependable free wifi. Around the corner, you’ll find Belle and Herbs and the vegetarian Sky Apple Cafe. Belle and Herbs does crap coffee but the food (have the waffles!) is great. Sky Apple Cafe does good coffee, and occasionally some blisteringly nice cakes.
I’ve avoided the usual Costa/Starbucks cafe’s in this list, but there are some that are better than others. Independant retailers are usually a lot more interesting though, and ones I’ve not mentioned could include the Scrumpy Willow & the Singing Kettle (run by hippies, all organic) the Lit and Phil counter (free biscuits, and in a library) and the Oven Door (pictures of Norman Wisdom). I’m sure I’ve forgotten some great places, but just think of this a list of hints. For fellow snobby snob snob snobs.
Hi Pete,
Kaffeccinos is definitely not the place for a snobby snob snob ;) It plays music of the Century FM variety (bit of Beatles, Paulo Nutini, that sort of easy listening stuff). I love the fact it has a few books to read so I don’t have to feel conspicuous if I just fancy going for a drink by myself. The coffee tastes good (to me) – it’s not rocket fuel, but I need my coffee smooooth and I find rocket fuel a bit strong! Best of all though, I have a whole collection of ‘FREE COFFEE WHEN YOU SPEND £1+’ vouchers, so I buy a muffin for less than the coffee costs and get a coffee free!
I’ll check out the places you recommend for sure, and some that others have told me about, and see if one of my choices gets your seal of approval :)
from a fellow snobby snob snob…
Yes Pete I wholeheartedly agree. I would have to say that the Cafe de Vie, on Saville Row is the best by a long dark shot, and if you go there once in a blue moon, you will be remembered and your friendly Frenchman will be half way through making your double expresso before you have even ordered it.
There is also Intermezzo, surely a glaring omission? I suspect that there may be more behind this conspiracy, but it must definitely satisfy all your above requirements? It is where I re-discovered DEVO and the free wifi is good too. It is also impossible to sit outside and not see someone that you know within about five minutes.
I’m intrigued by the new back of Grainger Market set up, it sounds great.
You forgot the cafe on the top floor of Wilkinsons too. And has anyone ever been to the new American style place on Gallowgate?
PS and being such a coffee snob, from New Zealand, I am sure that Alex will get a bit of an education in Wellington. I just can’t even let myself take one of those flyers for Kaffecinos that the guy tries to give out on the street.